Over time I've come to value obituaries more than many other family history sources. Obits usually tell the full story of a life: place and date of birth, parents' names, spouse and children, professional accomplishments, personal interests, etc. I particularly enjoy reading older obituaries, the ones that go into detail about how the person died or who came from a distance to attend the funeral. It's important to remember, however, that obituaries are considered secondary sources of information. The writer of the obituary is recollecting events that occurred sometime in the past and consequently the story may not be completely accurate. Last week a cousin of my mother passed away at the age of 94. The obituary indicates he was survived by four children, three sisters and a brother (not to mention 11 grandchildren, 16 great-grandchildren and 11 great-great-grandchildren - but I digress). The reason I mention the surviving children and siblings is because of errors in the obituary. I can't believe no one caught the mistakes. The deceased man's mother and my grandfather were sister and brother. Their surname was DeJong. The newspaper obituary states the deceased's mother was "Jesse DeYoung." While that is the correct pronunciation of the last name, it's certainly never been an accepted spelling. And Jessie always spelled her name with an "ie"; Jesse is commonly the male variant of the name. Then again, people who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. The obituary I wrote eight years ago for my mother was also inaccurate on a couple points: 1) Mom was born at her parents' home, on a farm in a rural area. I incorrectly stated her birthplace was in the next county, where the family moved a few years later. 2) When I listed the siblings who preceded her in death, I only gave the names of those who'd lived to adulthood. I failed to name three brothers who died as infants. Even when a death is not sudden or unexpected, emotions run high. The myriad of tasks that follow may seem overwhelming, and chances increase for making inadvertent errors in the obituary:

• The person assigned the task of writing the obit may not have all the facts or they may overlook something of significance.
• The writer doesn't take the time to have another family member proofread for accuracy.
• The obit writer prefers to exclude selected information (e.g., second wife chooses not to list surviving children from a first marriage).

So, my advice is twofold: 1) Take published obituaries "with a grain of salt"; 2) Write your own obituary now to ensure it's accurate (2003 advice from Dear Abby).